Why Cohort D Should Rule the World

Holy $#!t!

2007-09-20T12:51:00.000-07:00

We all know that Philadelphia can be a dangerous place. Just last week, an email was passed around concerning one of our classmates whose purse was stolen from her in Center City. Cohort D, has of course, been on the look-outs for suspicious characters and always walks its female members home after dark - and to a certain extent its more meek male members, too.

But this latest affront caught us all unawares. Who would have thought that this ambush would have come not only in broad daylight, but in our very own Huntsman Hall - AND at the very hands of those in whom we trusted so much.

Yes, I'm talking about the faculty. It seems that their sinister plans to actually teach us something have come to fruition. How else can you explain all the new synapses that are firing in my head. Two-part pricing, credit cash (which means pay out money), growing perpetuities be gone from my brain! There won't be any more room for the important stuff! I can't remember Brittney Spears' birthday! Gone are the days of whiling away the time, blissfully vegetative in front of the 82nd edition of the Real World on MTV. Forget about equally important Wednesday night pedicures or finally catching up on reading the latest Seventeen magazine. Woe is me.

So I wish you good luck in this barren landscape of midterms and Plenitudes of problem sets. I'm sorry to say that the good times are over, and won't be back. Until Thursday.

Balancing Work & Play

2007-09-16T21:02:00.000-07:00

As the smartest (and best-looking, most witty, and nicest-smelling) cohort to ever grace the face of the earth, Cohort D has found the perfect balance between work and play.

Play:
Friday, attend multi-cultural birthday potluck
Saturday, throw rocks (that means "bowl")
Sunday, attend picnic - well, really it means fully intend on attending picnic but then realize that there's work to be done

Work:
Sunday night - Thank God for the mighty Ken who will not only tell us when everything is due, but also press your laundry and sing you a lullaby. Now none of us will ever need to "have a case of the Mondays" ever again.

MGEC gets the better of us (well, some of us)

2007-09-10T21:32:00.000-07:00

Late into the night the members of Cohort D were scrambling to put the finishing touches on the latest problem set. At least one member or the Cohort (who shall remain nameless to prevent prosecution by the authorities) went so far as to admit he/she was "on crack" in an attempt to muster the brain power to wade through the intricacies of transfer-pricing.

This burning of the midnight oil might also be attributable to our beloved Cohort's desire to make a buck - or at least not lose seven like yours truly did during the last class. Perhaps our good professor will let us put our money where our mouth is, and make a few dolla' bilz. Those Saturday night bowling shoes aren't going to pay for themselves...

Where do I sit?

2007-09-05T15:37:00.000-07:00

Cohort D had about 32.3 panic attacks today because no one knew where to sit. At Wharton, you see, we must sit according to a seating chart, and every class has a different chart, and few of the charts were available online for us over-achievers to study before the day began. This resulted in some pretty impressive faux pas. Some sat on the wrong side of the room. Others who found themselves placed to the far left or right sprained eyeballs attempting to view powerpoint projections from a 6-degree angle, and untold millions were so worked up by not knowing where to park their keesters they forgot their name plates and were forced to create crude etchings as replacements.

But tomorrow is another day (with still more seating charts). Buck up, Cohort D. You can do it!

ps - Our condolences go out to the members of Cohort D who purchased their iPhones at full price. Still, you were cooler than the rest of us for 2 months. Hope it was worth the extra $200.

Recap

2007-09-04T13:44:00.000-07:00

Patricia says to me, "Brad, you speak as if you observe things really well. You should be Historian." Clearly this is a sound reason to run for and ultimately accept a position that will cause me to spend inordinate amounts of time on fun projects (like this blog) instead of un-fun projects, like learning statistics. But, here I am, so I may as well do a quick recap on the trials and tribulations of Cohort D since we arrived at Wharton. [I promise, future entries will be a bit more detailed.]

Day 1: Big tent. Really hot. Speeches. Got Bain water bottle and coolest magnetic name tag ever.

Day 2-10ish: Learned math.

Day 15ish: Passed math test. Much rejoicing. Mitch throws good parties. [This would later prove a key factor in his election to Social co-chair.]

Days 27-28: Go camping. Reason #52 why Cohort D should rule the world: we have the best canoe rowers among all persons aged 23-42 at Camp Iroquois during the dates we are there. Met learning teams, swung across boiling lava pits, rocked out on Sweet Child of Mine with Terry and Matt, ate s'mores, contemplated smothering Kevin to stop snoring.

Day 30ish: Case Day. Mental Note: must sit closer to Phong and Alex, as they are good at case studies. Me, not so much. Cohort elects people to approximately 189 committees.